Tunes We Toked To: Beirut, “The Flying Club Cup”

This week, Kaiser dusted off some vinyl and gave it a spin. We all really loved smoking up to Beirut’s 2007 release, “The Flying Club Cup”. We sat around in a circle, all of us hidden behind our laptops, passing a blunt while we slaved over everything from Kaiser’s web design to Peter Pan’s poetry. We disappeared into much-needed productivity, and vented all of the creativity we’d been storing for days. Cigarettes lay forgotten on end tables, and half-empty beer turned warm. Our typing was mechanical at first, then became quick and frenzied as muses danced in circles through our clouds of music and smoke.

Beirut is the perfect music to stimulate creative thought. It’s exotic, and fun without being overly pop or bizarre. If you really want to know more about the album, just read Pitchfork’s review here.

Meal We Made: Pimento Cheese Sandwiches

Peter Pan and Wendy are still crashing with Kaiser, and since they don’t want to be complete assholes, they’ve been shoplifting groceries and cooking delicious food every night. Kaiser and G-Reggie have enjoyed watching Wendy unpack her bag after a grocery store run, and they’ve loved having a delicious dinner somehow magically appear in front of them. This time, Wendy decided to celebrate the arrival of an old friend, Jeremiah Weed, with a classic Southern meal.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese
• 1/2 cup shredded Pepper Jack cheese
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1 4oz jar diced pimento, drained
• 2 slices of bread for each sandwich
• Butter (about a tablespoon for each sandwich)

All you have to do to make the sandwich filling is mix all the ingredients (except the bread and butter, of course) together in a bowl. If you have a mixer, it’ll make your life way easier, but I didn’t use one. To make the sandwiches, heat about half a tablespoon of butter over medium heat in a skillet. Fill two pieces of bread with the filling, then brown each side, adding more butter to the pan before you flip the sandwich over. Chips or fries are awesome with these.

Songs We Sex Playlisted: M.I.A.

First let us establish one thing: M.I.A. is brilliant. She effortlessly combines third-world style with first-world flow, creating an elegant mix of primal and technical sound.

If you’re looking for something to unleash your feral side to, M.I.A. is here to deliver. The tribal sound will have you feeling like a foreign prince, even if you’re really a white boy in skinny jeans. The smooth hip-hop flow sets a groovy rhythm,  and M.I.A.’s sultry voice even gives the ladies an erection. You’ll also hear disco vibes, and strange chants. I strongly recommend a bottle of Delsym for this, or at the very least, lots of weed and wine.

Just don’t expect to walk around much the next morning.

Stuff We Stole: Thanksgiving Dinner

There was a gathering of bohemian types at Kaiser’s house this Thanksgiving. Peter Pan’s friend Sketch visited and brought a painting, and the Usual Suspects played beer pong and video games, smoked fat blunts and ate all sorts of delicious ambrosia and nectar. Everyone dug the “mi casa, su casa” vibe.

Thanksgiving dinner was no challenge for Peter Pan, Wendy and Kaiser. They went to a local grocery store and walked around, with Kaiser pushing a shopping cart. They filled the cart with everything they needed, and Peter Pan and Wendy stashed everything they could. They nearly slashed the grocery bill in half.

Wendy was especially proud of herself. She managed to walk out of the store with an 11.37lb turkey in her purse, along with a couple of other assorted ingredients. Kaiser created a masterpiece of a main dish of the turkey, glazing it with brown sugar, maple syrup and (stolen) apple cider vinegar. She also threw together an amazing macaroni and cheese, Peter Pan and Wendy’s Sweet Potato Enchiladas, stuffing, corn pudding, green bean casserole, a couple of different dips for appetizers, and God knows what else.

Sadly, G-Reggie had to work, but he brought back presents, and managed to smoke enough special-occasion dank weed to make even working on Black Friday bearable.

If the Bohemian Heroes ever had cause to be thankful, it was this Thanksgiving.

• Kaiser was thankful for free groceries and PBR.

• Wisconsin was thankful for his recent cast in a fantastic show.

• Peter Pan was thankful for time with friends, and for thick blunts.

• Wendy was thankful for video games and Peter Pan.

Go forth, Occupy Black Friday and be thankful.

Friend We Found: Our “Tokin” Black Guy

We’ll call our new friend Tokin’ for now, because he’s a black guy we smoked a blunt with. We were driving around at around 11:45, fifteen minutes before Kaiser’s birthday, looking for cannabis. We rolled up to a stop light, and a carful of black guys pulled up next to us and asked Kaiser for her number. She held up a blunt wrap, and they rolled down the window and asked for her number again. She yelled her number out of the window twice, and a few seconds later he called her. We ended up picking up Tokin’ later and driving him around until he found weed. We drove him back to where we picked him up, and smoked a fat blunt with him. He showed us pictures of his kids, and asked us if we liked Jet-Skis. He was a cool guy, and we’ll definitely hit him up next time we need green.

Just A Thought: Weed is for Sharing

“It’s weed, man. Don’t be a cunt about it, just smoke it.” –Kaiser

Real bohemian heroes aren’t Jews about their marijuana. Smoke was made for sharing, so don’t hoard it, Bogart it, argue over it, or be selfish with it.

We’ve all been in circles where “that guy” is constantly fighting a battle to make sure he gets his fair share of weed. They want to police the situation, and are paranoid that they will be cheated out of a hit. Pro tip: no one likes that guy. Don’t be that guy. Remember that the more positive energy you put out, the more positive energy you get back. Don’t underestimate karma or the three-fold law.

Where We Went: The Bowling Alley

Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t fucking roll! –Walter Sobchak, “The Big Lebowski”

This week, the heroes decided to shake up their routine and use some coupons they’d gotten for a free game of bowling each. Peter Pan, Wendy and their friend Kaiser rented absurd shoes and rolled like they’d never rolled before (ha!) Wendy won with a 103, Peter Pan came in second with a 59, and Kaiser heard failure trumpets ringing in her ears, coming in last with a 57. They hid their identities well. Kaiser played as LSD, Peter Pan became PCP, and Wendy laid back as THC.

Quick aside: Peacey P would make an awesome stage name.

One of my ex-roommates always said that bowling reminded her of her grandmother. I disagree. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than getting high and going to a local, half-abandoned bowling alley. For extra hipster credit, try hosting a mini Lebowski Fest in your overcrowded, messy, incense-scented apartment. Serve white Russians (there’s a great recipe here) and smoke joints while you watch the movie. Bonus points are awarded for playing whale song in your bathroom. Then, go bowling.

The dude abides.

Tunes We Toked To: Mac Miller, “Blue Slide Park”

“My name’s Mac Miller, who the fuck are you?” – “Frick  Street Market”

This week we geeked hard to Mac Miller’s newest album, “Blue Slide Park”. It’s fun, mellow, lyrically legit, and laced with youthful swagger, testosterone-laden confidence and all-American optimism. A couple of tracks include samples of other artists, including Owl City and 45 the King. Of course, we had a few favorite tracks.

Peter Pan and I heard our lives flash before our ears the first time we heard “Up All Night.” It’s the perfect party anthem combination of catchy, upbeat and brutally honest. It’s unashamedly irresponsible, sharing those “we’ve-all-been-there ‘I don’t have a job so I spend every day drinking away my hangover and coughing out over a bong” stories.

I love the old-school feel of “Party on 5th Ave”, a track smoothly backed by 45 the King’s “The 900 Number”.  The throwback feel is reminiscent of Miller’s “Knock Knock”. Critics love the kid’s respect for his elders, of which there are many (he’s only 19.) Buzzbox says: “Mac Miller may only be 19 years old, but the Pittsburgh MC has an old hip-hop soul.”

Other honorable mentions include “Frick Street Market” and “Smile Back”.

We got hooked on Mac Miller when went through a phase where we’d pop a couple sleeves of Triple C’s or drink a bottle of Delsym, drive 45 minutes to pick up a quarter, smoke a couple of blunts, listen to music, drive back, have a bottle of wine or some beers, Peter Pan and I would disappear into a room on the top floor of his dorm, eventually pass out on a mattress on the floor, sleep through our classes, wake up and repeat. It lasted for a solid week, and by the end of it we were so strung out we could barely function. It was a hell of a week though. We went out for ice cream and Mexican food, saw The Rum Diary, had sex until we were exhausted, cut off all of my hair and dyed it red, disappeared from campus for hours and walked through the desolate beautiful town we lived in, wrote brilliant creative things, ordered pizza and played Mortal Kombat, and went on huge shoplifting sprees.

My absolute favorite part was going on a long drive through one of the most affluent neighborhoods in all of Bum Fuck Egypt. Shiny SUVs  hid from the autumn leaves in four-car garages, proud community members play tennis together by the neighborhood clubhouse, and Asians in polo shirts glare at you from riding lawnmowers. We turned up “Don’t Mind If I Do” and opened the sunroof. Peter Pan, Padawan and I ashed our cigarettes out of our windows and stared wide-eyed at the neat rows of houses, centered around unforgiving snakes of asphalt. We laughed until we nearly cried at the idea that people would put seasonal wreaths on their doors. Our logic was that, as Peter Pan so aptly put, “No one is going to see it but your neighbors and the stoners driving around your neighborhood!”

If you’ve ever dreamed of disappearing into a week like that, or you just appreciate the sentiment, “Blue Slide Park” is sure to please.

Meal We Made: Sweet Potato Enchiladas

 

Naturally, Peter Pan and Wendy went to the grocery store with an empty purse and stocked up on all the ingredients for this. They’re a little sweet, but the cayenne pepper gives them some kick-ass heat. Canned enchilada sauce was much easier to get than all the ingredients for sauce, so we saved a few steps there.

Ingredients:

• 3 Medium-Sized Sweet Potatoes
• 4 ounces cream cheese
• 2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
• 2 teaspoons oregano
• 2 teaspoons cumin
• 4 flour tortillas
• 1 can enchilada sauce
• 1 package shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Stab the sweet potatoes a few times with a knife or fork. “Bake” the sweet potatoes in the microwave for about four minutes, flip them over, and bake them for another five minutes. Peel the skin off of the potatoes, and mash them in a bowl with the cream cheese and spices. Fill the tortillas with the mixture, and place them sides touching in a glass baking dish. Cover them with enchilada sauce and cheese and bake them at 450 degrees until the cheese is brown. These vibe really well with rice, and are best enjoyed baked.