After a little while of playing around with Bohemian Heroes, we feel like it’s time to take things in a new direction. The inspiration we felt at first is still there, but it’s shifted, and changed, and so we want to tweak things and make sure we still feel like we’re expressing ourselves. We’re going to change around some categories, and instead of hoping for a post every day, we’re only going to keep categories for a few days a week. Don’t worry, we’ll still be awesome.
This week, Kaiser and Wendy went to Petsmart to stock up on supplies for Kaiser’s new kitten! Kaiser named her Aeyo, so that when she needs to find her she can just say “Ay yo girl!” and the cat will respond. Since it had been a while since Kaiser had owned a cat, they had to start from scratch. They got bowls, a collar, toys, a litter scoop and a bag of cat litter, all in their purses. As they were leaving the store, a Petsmart employee dressed as Santa was greeting customers with bellowing laughs and holiday well-wishes. Wendy and Kaiser were sure that they were only getting coal for Christmas, but Santa didn’t suspect a thing, and the Petsmart heist went off without a hitch.
We definitely weren’t there for the fried chicken and biscuits, as delicious as they might be.
Kaiser and Wendy were high one Thursday. They were really high. And they were drinking. Relatively early in the evening, they told Peter Pan and Hendo that they were going out to pick up a couple of beers. They did get beer, but they drove around and finished them instead of taking them home. They admired Christmas decorations, and debated going home for the night. Then they crashed the local Bojangles holiday party.
It all started with this video:
If you didn’t watch it until the end, you probably should. Who knew adorable Fez would grow up to be such a stud?
Anyway, Kaiser and Wendy decided that they were drunk, and high, and they wanted to see someone’s dick wiggle. Luckily, Kaiser had a friend about 20 minutes away, hanging out at the Bojangles Christmas party, and the girls were sure they could get him to wiggle for them. They rolled into the parking lot, where four or five people were standing around smoking cigarettes and chatting. They cranked the music up loud, and danced like the alcoholics they were, to the vast amusement of their captive audience. After all that driving and effort, BP didn’t wiggle his dick for them. He did give them a blunt to smoke on the ride home, though. When Wendy and Kaiser stopped by his house to pick it up and socialize for a few minutes, they were enraptured by the houseful of kittens. Kaiser had already planned on adopting one of them, so it rode home on Wendy’s lap.
Peter Pan and Hendo were at home, on laptops and napping, when Kaiser and Wendy rolled in, hours after they left to get beer, way more intoxicated than they were when they left, with no beer and a tiny kitten. It was an excellent Thursday.
We had trouble deciding whether to make this a sex playlist review or a Tunes We Toked To post, because it’s perfect for both. Danish pop band The Asteroids Galaxy Tour got their start by opening for Amy Winehouse, and since then, they have been featured in commercials for Heineken and Apple.
Their newest EP “The Golden Age”, released in April of 2011, is about as golden as a five-track EP gets. We loved the 80’s synth influences, and the overall retro feel. It’s a little spacey, and the vocals sound as smooth and scratchy as pouring honey over toast.
Our advice? Either put the album on repeat or add it to playlist with other music (Crash Kings and Franz Ferdinand, anyone?) because it is only five tracks, and really, that’s not long enough for a good sex soundtrack.
Christmas displays make shoplifting fun! They’re easy to duck behind, and full of fun little surprises, lots of which fit easily into a hoodie pocket. When Wendy saw a laser pointer on one of these displays, she couldn’t resist pinking one up for her cat. Then, Kaiser welcomed a new friend, Kaiser von Kitty, into her home. Now, Kaiser and Kaiser von Kitty can’t help being entertained. Now if we could just teach Kaiser to chase the dot too…
To ease your hangover and put you in a good mood for Saturday night, here’s this video of cats and laser pointers.
The hardest part of running a blog about living a bohemian lifestyle is that when one lives the aforementioned bohemian lifestyle, internet access is a luxury, not a necessity. Wendy, who writes almost every post for Bohemian Heroes, didn’t have access to the internet for quite a while. She had some fun while she was gone, and should have lots to tell you Internet types about now that she’s back. Hopefully over the holidays, she and all the other Heroes will have lots of fun stories to tell, recipes to share, and music to send your way.
First let us establish one thing: M.I.A. is brilliant. She effortlessly combines third-world style with first-world flow, creating an elegant mix of primal and technical sound.
If you’re looking for something to unleash your feral side to, M.I.A. is here to deliver. The tribal sound will have you feeling like a foreign prince, even if you’re really a white boy in skinny jeans. The smooth hip-hop flow sets a groovy rhythm, and M.I.A.’s sultry voice even gives the ladies an erection. You’ll also hear disco vibes, and strange chants. I strongly recommend a bottle of Delsym for this, or at the very least, lots of weed and wine.
Just don’t expect to walk around much the next morning.
There was a gathering of bohemian types at Kaiser’s house this Thanksgiving. Peter Pan’s friend Sketch visited and brought a painting, and the Usual Suspects played beer pong and video games, smoked fat blunts and ate all sorts of delicious ambrosia and nectar. Everyone dug the “mi casa, su casa” vibe.
Thanksgiving dinner was no challenge for Peter Pan, Wendy and Kaiser. They went to a local grocery store and walked around, with Kaiser pushing a shopping cart. They filled the cart with everything they needed, and Peter Pan and Wendy stashed everything they could. They nearly slashed the grocery bill in half.
Wendy was especially proud of herself. She managed to walk out of the store with an 11.37lb turkey in her purse, along with a couple of other assorted ingredients. Kaiser created a masterpiece of a main dish of the turkey, glazing it with brown sugar, maple syrup and (stolen) apple cider vinegar. She also threw together an amazing macaroni and cheese, Peter Pan and Wendy’s Sweet Potato Enchiladas, stuffing, corn pudding, green bean casserole, a couple of different dips for appetizers, and God knows what else.
Sadly, G-Reggie had to work, but he brought back presents, and managed to smoke enough special-occasion dank weed to make even working on Black Friday bearable.
If the Bohemian Heroes ever had cause to be thankful, it was this Thanksgiving.
Kaiser was thankful for free groceries and PBR.
Wisconsin was thankful for his recent cast in a fantastic show.
Peter Pan was thankful for time with friends, and for thick blunts.
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t fucking roll! –Walter Sobchak, “The Big Lebowski”
This week, the heroes decided to shake up their routine and use some coupons they’d gotten for a free game of bowling each. Peter Pan, Wendy and their friend Kaiser rented absurd shoes and rolled like they’d never rolled before (ha!) Wendy won with a 103, Peter Pan came in second with a 59, and Kaiser heard failure trumpets ringing in her ears, coming in last with a 57. They hid their identities well. Kaiser played as LSD, Peter Pan became PCP, and Wendy laid back as THC.
Quick aside: Peacey P would make an awesome stage name.
One of my ex-roommates always said that bowling reminded her of her grandmother. I disagree. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than getting high and going to a local, half-abandoned bowling alley. For extra hipster credit, try hosting a mini Lebowski Fest in your overcrowded, messy, incense-scented apartment. Serve white Russians (there’s a great recipe here) and smoke joints while you watch the movie. Bonus points are awarded for playing whale song in your bathroom. Then, go bowling.
Bohemian Heroes 